Recently, I’ve felt rage. I’m aware of the reason, an unspoken reason. As always, I selfishly hold many unspoken reasons for feeling rage, irritated, and anxious. I’m dying to speak it out loud, but I cannot, only because of my unwise rules which I assume can help maintain my self-esteem. I consistently wonder whether sharing is able to wipe away the rage and irritability. It won’t be easy to illustrate the whole story to make it understandable. Therefore, I doubt it. I just realize that I haven’t tried this cliché way to vent for a long time. I was unaware of how helpful and powerful this way was until now. “Was that really helpful?” “Did I really benefit from it?” I repetitively ask myself and I think the answer is “yes and I did.” Why do I stop doing it anymore? What do I do instead? What do make me to ruminate this question which may be a cue connecting to the unspoken reason, the mysterious affection behind the scene.
